Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Sister Dates

So a lot of things happened to me last year.  It got me to the point where at the end of November 2013 I moved back in my parents.. And thank you to them for letting me come home.  It feels amazing to be around family.  But I digress.  

In the past few months since I have moved my sister and I have gotten closer.  We very much so fight like sisters, but we have amazing awesome times.  We have started this thing that we call "Sister Dates".  We get dressed up (ususally), and go get dinner or dessert, or go shopping.  We even went to Pet Land and playing with a lil Puppy when I had a terrible day! 
We just get in the car and pop in our cassette adapter and just blast our girly music.  Which basically means mostly women in power, revenge, man hating music.  Can I just say Country music fits that the best. Taylor Swift is just the tip of the iceberg..

Oh and btw thus far Sister Dates have not been planned ahead of time. Its like spur of the moment.  We just decide to go out.  We have fun no matter what we do and we just connect as sisters.  This hang outs have meant so much to me.  I have really need stress and drama free nights out.  I honestly feel like they are most spontaneous things I have ever done! 

So as always Nicole & I had a "Sister Date" tonight!  I really wanted dessert so we decided to go to BJ's and have Pizookies. We got there and of course dessert into having an appetizer of Mini Bruchettas which were yummy! and Nicole had a Shirley Temple.  I stole a Cherry of course, because that's what we do in our household lol.  Then we had our Pizookies, I had the Red Velvet one! it was amazing!  Red Velvet is my favorite!  Our waitress was super nice too! We always have fun conversations that to most other people would not make sense, and we just crack each other up.  #sisterlanguage #duh 

Whats funny is we had a mini sister date last night.  There was some crying going on last night and I just decided we needed to watch tv together and just forget about everything. Somehow she has gotten me on this show Ghost Adventures because she recorded a lot of them to my DVR.  Scary shit.. seriously! Why she likes this, and why I like it I don't understand.  Then this afternoon I had her dye my hair blonde on top and try to get my dark brown hair to dye red, which it kind of sorta did.  Like a dark red; Burgandy.  We watched Netflix, more specifically Season 5 episodes of Greys Anatomy.  This is when Izzie is receiving treatment for her cancer.  These episodes are so sad.  

So you know how I said Sister Dates aren't planned?  Well they usually aren't.  But this next "official" one is going to be on Valentines Day because we are both single gals.  I guess its called Single Awareness Day if you are alone.  But Im chosing to be optimistic and happy on this day because my sister and I are going out.  Either dinner and movie, or bowling and movie.  My sister even bought a special dress for the night.  It makes me smile that she is so excited for the occasion.  And I too am excited to go out that night.  Even though it is my first Valentines Day alone in five years..  But I am not going to focus on that.. at least try very hard not too..  

Sister Dates are awesome.  If you have a sister you should try it.  Its fun and spontaneous and random.  It has become some of my favorite memories that I will cherish for all time. 
Love you Nicole! You are an amazing sister!!!

Here are some photos from tonights Sister Date!!

Hair was in the process of being Dyed.  #beforedyejob

I guess its kinda red in places??

My Sister

Red Velvet & Chocolate Chip Pizookies


#SisterSelfie

After 10 months I finally trimmed my hair a few days ago and dyed it today here is the after pic!  #selfie

So readers with siblings, do you any of you do a similar thing?  I cant imagine we are the only siblings that do something like this..  Its not just a normal hang out.  Tell me your stories!!! 

Peace and Love
Molly

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

We officially have a diagnosis!!!

As some of you may know I had to have an MRI on Friday. It was an awful experience because it took wayyy longer than it was suppose to (2 in a half hrs), they couldnt poke me because my veins were not cooroperating.. it took 6 tries to put the contrast in, and it cost me 1200 bucks because I had not met my deductible.. sure did now though. So basically they own me for 6 months lol..

I called my doctor on monday and my MRI results had come in so I went and saw my Doctor this afternoon. After 3 ultrasounds and an Mri we finally know that it is 100% a dermoid on my left ovary. They are going to call me to schedule me for surgery probably in the next few days and obviously I am gonna wanna do surgery asap!!

I feel a sigh of relief knowing its not worse. And just knowing what it is. The unknown is so scary and the waiting and the worrying was not helping at all. Unfortunately I am still scared, and my anxiety is getting the best of me.  I mean its not like having a tumor and having surgery is fun times!

If you know me well, you know all that I gone through in the past and everything that I am currently going through.. so my feelings should be nothing new. I am trying with all my might to stay positive but Im tired. Emotionally and physically exhausted. Between the medical and non medical problems I sometimes wonder how I get out of bed.

I am hopeful that one day I can put all of this behind me and move on with my life. Not just move on, but really enjoy life and the good things that it has to offer me, not just the bad that I have been dealt thus far.

I want to say thank you for everyones continued thoughts and prayers for me. It is so appreciated and I am so thankful to have the support system that I do.  It truly means the world to me. Xoxo

I know this post was kind of heavy so here are a few funnies to make you laugh. They sure made me crack up!!

Peace & Love
Molly

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Northridge Quake 20th Anniversary!

Welp!! With everything going on today with my health-see previous blog entry:  http://movingonwithmolly.blogspot.com/2014/01/ive-never-had-mri.html (which btw, it totally sucked... I had to get poked 6 times when they went to inject the contrast needle, and it was awful!) So now I have bruises and swollen hands from all the pokes, and my back hurts from laying flat on it for 2 in a half hours while they did the test....  I almost forgot about it being 20 years since the Northridge Earthquake of 1994. 

 If you want to know stats about the quake you can google search it. Its everywhere. Some information for my readers who don't know much about it are as follows.  It occurred on January 17th, 1994 at 4:31a.m. It lasted about 10-20 seconds (but felt longer).  It had a magnitude of 6.7, but it felt stronger (even felt in Las Vegas) 57 people passed away because of the quake and more than 5,000 people were injured.  It was estimated that there was at least $20 billion in property damage making it one of the most costliest natural disasters in U.S. History.  Crazy right? And I was there!

My story goes like this though...

I was just five years old when the earthquake happened.  My house was damn near the epicenter, which was crazy! It is so weird because it is one of my most vivid memories as a child.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  I cannot believe it has been 20 years already!
Many lives were lost, and many buildings were damaged, and destroyed beyond repair.  It was pretty devastating.  

 At the time my bedroom was on the opposite of the house as my parents, and thankfully for this earthquake that changed.. anyways.. I awoke to a lot of shaking and noise and things falling.  At first I thought I was just dreaming, or that my Dad was just trying to wake me for school.  Obviously I was seriously, seriously wrong.  The force of the quake had caused my door to slam shut and it was stuck shut.  No matter what my parents did it would not open... SO SCARY!  Somehow they got it opened and my Mom rushed me to the doorway by their room to stay somewhat safe.  Meanwhile my Dad had run out of the house and had gone around to all the houses in the neighborhood with another Dad from the neighborhood.. Sidebar: It was my friend Heathers Dad, Bruce. They went and turned everyones gas off so nothing would explode.  Could you just imagine.. would have made matters worse.. Especially since the quake had caused fires such close by, as well as caused CSUN parking garage to completely implode. 

Finally the shaking and rattling stopped and it was silent.  Finally my mom and I could hear yelling coming from outside from My friend Heather and her mom Ellen calling our names making sure we were okay.  Somehow we made it outside, and oddly enough Heathers Mom had gone back inside their house and gotten me shoes because I was barefoot.  All of us close neighbors spent the rest of the night outside sitting in front of one of our neighbors houses on their brick fence just waiting for the light to come. Funny enough once it did our neighbor wen inside his house and got us all Nutri-grain Bars, and somehow I still find that funny to this day.  

That next day was spent surveying the damages to our homes and trying to stay safe while we were hit with aftershock after shock.  My family preceded to spend the next night in a tent on our neighbors front lawn, and then spent the next three months in a motor-home while our houses was renovated from the damages caused by the quake.  So just imagine three people and three dogs. Yeah, talk about tight quarters.. After our house was fixed, you would have never known it had been damaged so severely.  

After all these years the memories are still there though, and I even found out that there was an earthquake in the valley today, how fitting.  

Those are my memories from the quake.. if you were there, what were your memories if you can remember?. I mean everyone has a different story.  

Here are a few pictures that I found from the quake online..

1994 Northridge, California Earthquake   

Crazy right??? I know. I cannot believe I was there and lived through that.  I am so glad everyone I knew made it out and was safe! 

Peace and Love
Molly


Friday, January 17, 2014

I've Never Had An MRI

I guess I should back up and tell the whole story.  You see, about over a month ago all of a sudden I was struck with terrible lower back pain.  Pain that I have never experienced before. No matter what I did I could not get any relief from the pain.  Ice, heating pad, icy hot, etc.  I went to the emergency room and they did a ct scan.  It came back normal as far as the back was concerned, but weeks later I went to the Neurologist to follow up on the back pain because it seemed like it was inflaming a nerve. For obvious reasons he had gotten a hold of my CT results from the hospital and he gives me news I was not ready to hear.  That I had a 3.5 by 2.9 centimeter mass on my left ovary. First of all I was beyond upset because I had a tumor, but filled with anger and rage because the hospital failed to tell me or even include that in my paperwork.  They specifically told me I was fine.

I made an appointment immediately to see my OBGYN. Of course it was the holiday season so there was a lack of appointments available, so I was only able to get in right after New Years.  Well now after multiple inconclusive ultrasounds, I am a hard one to get a good picture.. unfortunately; I now have to have my very first MRI. Now I know its not like an invasive test or anything.  But for the first time in a long time it is a medical test that I have never had.  It is so sad, but at this point I am like an old pro at CT Scans, Ultrasounds, and X-rays.  Just from hearing about an MRI freaks me out.  I mean any test that's a big circle thing that makes loud banging noises.. sounds super scary! I am very nervous.  I don't know how well I am going to sleep tonight.  

On top of that I am sick.  The whole household is sick. Everyone is miserable and I feel so bad.  The baby is possibly teething so he is miserable and him crying just makes me want to cry.  But I digress....

So up until this point I have been kind of secretive about the type of tumor/cyst/mass whatever you wanna classify it, that I have.  It is honestly for everyone elses benefit. Seriously its kind of gross, and I hate that I most likely do have this in my body, but like I said will know for sure after the MRI tomorrow.  What I most likely have is what they Call a "Dermoid" yah sounds cool right? yeah no.. btw now that you know what it is. do yourselves a favor and do not google image a photo. I wish I hadn't because verbal description is more than enough.  Why you ask? Beacause this type of mass gross hair, skin, teeth, bones, etc. They call it "the ugly twin tumor" lovely right? EWWWW!! Ugh its gross. Just knowing its in my body makes me feel icky and I just want it out of me as soon as humanly possible.  Which is why its been so tough for me lately because all the tests have been so hard to read, and they just don't want to go in and not know what they are really looking for.  I dont feel like I am being impatient, I just feel want to get the surgery over with and move on with my life again.  And lemme just reiterate that you should NOT google image it.  I regret doing so.
I am also hoping it is what has caused my other medical mysteries that have sprouted up over the past few months, like my elevated white blood cell count, anemia, & Fibromyalgia. 
I am just over all this medical stuff.. I just want to live my life and I feel like I am stuck inside of a body that just wants to be sick all the time.  

I am trying to stay positive through this whole thing, but on top on everything else going on in my life it makes it very, very hard.  I am trying to have faith, and keep the positive vibes and leaning on my friends and family for strength and support.  Through everything I have been through in my 25 years of life, and especially in the last few, I dont know how I would have gotten through it without any of them by my side.  It has meant so much to me.  

I am once again calling upon my loved ones to keep me in their thoughts and prayers, and my readers, I hope you do the same for me if you could.  I could really use all the support and positive vibes I can get.

And of course wish me luck on my MRI tomorrow.. Im anxious about it.... ugh

Here is a a funny MRI e-card just for funzies.. 


Peace & Love
Molly

Monday, January 13, 2014

Trip to Los Angeles

Hi everybody! I hope you are all well out there! I have clearly been procrastinating writing this blog entry, and it is because it was a very emotional trip. It was seriously an emotional roller coaster of epic proportions.
I almost don't know where to begin, and to be honest I keep writing and then deleting what I am writing because it just doesn't sound right. ugh. On the bright side I seriously took like at least 100 photos, of like everything.

First our trip was suppose to start on Tuesday but weather issues in the East set it back a day... no biggie, except it was for me, because I have flexibility issues lol.. So Wednesday finally came and we were off (me and my mom), with our bags and snacks and drinks in tow.. We were already on the road in our rental car, listening to music on my phone when I realized that the phones were not taking a charge.  No matter what I did neither chargers we had were working. Thank God for multiple cell phones so when one died we just switched to the other, but it was still very irritating.  Luckily when we got to the Valley we went and got the cars switched out, and got new chargers at Radioshack.  What a way to start a trip.  LOL!

My Mom & I were so tired and hungry at this point.  Luckily we were down the street from where I was staying with my BFFL Jage!  It was just a low key night, but of course we went and got Starbucks and Jamba Juice! Gotta have my two addictions lol. #sorrynotsorry As soon as my head hit my pillow later that night I fell right to sleep.  I had no idea how tired I was until I was out like a light!

The next morning I woke up and got ready to meet up with my family for a very special ceremony.  Some of you know already that my Aunt Eileen passed away in 2012.  It was very unexpected and it hit me pretty hard.  Unfortunately I was not able to attend her funeral so it was so important for me attend this time,  and this past Thursday members of my Family got together and we spread her ashes into the ocean in Venice Beach.  It was probably one of the most emotional things I have ever been through in my life, but in my heart I knew it was what I needed to do to say goodbye. This was what she wanted, to go home, and I have to feel at peace with knowing that. A few years ago I had cancer, and it was obviously a very difficult time and to make a story short, I was having a very dark day and her strength, even over the phone is what got me through it.  I am now the middle of another medical crisis and once again I need her strength and she is gone. I wish she was here to tell me all the same things before.  I stood in the ocean awhile longer then everyone and just talked to her.  Let her know I needed her, and I believe I have a guardian angel up in Heaven in my Aunt Eileen.  I miss her so much and I love her with all my heart and I always will.  I am so thankful to have had her in my life, and I am so thankful that I was allowed to participate in the ceremony.

When we left the beach we went to this restaurant in Culver City called "Wood Cafe"  It was really good. We had great food, drinks, and amazing conversation.  We talked about life and my Aunt, amongst other things.  Just catching up with each other.  I hadn't seen some of my family in many years.  It was soo nice to see them, even under the circumstances.  Lets just say it was a lunch where the men had beer and I had my white wine haha.. my new fav thing! My family are my rocks, and it was so nice to have them around for a couple days.  Once lunch started to wind down and we were about to leave everyone gathered around and Prayed for me.  Yes Prayed. I was so honored and touched by the gesture.  With everything on in my life medically and emotionally I really could use all the prayers I could get. I am so appreciative for it and in that moment I felt so much love from my family and especially My Aunt up in Heaven.

After lunch My Uncle Bob, Uncle Carl, Cousin Toby, my Mom, and I got into a car and took a drive to see the house my Mom and Uncle Bob grew up in.  It was so crazy because when we pulled up the owners were just getting home for the day and they talked to us about the house and showed us around.  It was pretty cool to see where my mom lived when she was a kid!  I am sure it was pretty amazing for her!

It then was time to say goodbye to my extended family.  I was so sad to see them go.  You wonder how long until you are going to see them again ya know.  I got back to Jages house and I treated her to dinner.  Don't know if any of you have heard of Outdoor Grill, but everytime I come home thats where I go.  It is delicious and yummy!  I get the same thing every time. tri-tip plate with garlic mashed potatoes and mac & cheese.  I seriously was not that hungry, from having that huge lunch only hours prior, but hell it was Outdoor Grill! I ate my whole damn meal! haha! Had a great conversation as well.  With everything going on in my life it is so nice to have a best friend that I can count on and turn to.  I hope she knows that it means the world to me! You see, my best friend is practically my sister. 20 year friendship!  I don't know what I would do without her!

The next day, Friday was the day we left.  I really did not want to go, it just felt so right being "home".  Before we left, My Mom & I met up with My Uncle Bob to visit my grandparents graves at Eden Memorial. Cemetery.  We put flowers down on their graves and just talked to them and reminisced about memories we had with them.  It once again was very emotional.  Losing my Grandma in 1999 was one of the hardest times in my life, and I have never fully recovered from that tragedy.  I think about her daily.  

My Mom and & I then went and had brunch at Coco's. I have not eaten there in sooo long! They were sooo busy, and it took a long time, but the food was delish! 

We then began our long drive back to Vegas.  It was very emotional for me to leave.  Saying goodbye to my Friends and basically coming back to reality. Even as I have written all of this I have wanted to just go back and delete and start over because it just doesn't seem quite right.  It has taken me days to write this,, I have to keep stopping and coming back to it... Ugh Life. 

To sum everything up, it was an emotional trip, but I needed it and wouldn't have missed it for anything! I just cant wait to get back home for a good solid vacation that includes more fun and laughter! I am so glad I got to go.  Seeing my friends and family and being around such positive energies even in tragic circumstances was the best! I love you guys so much! Best Family & Friends I could ever ask for!!! 

Now onto what I am sure all my readers have been waiting for, the best part.. THE PICTURES!!!! I seriously took a ton of pics of everything and everywhere! 

These are in order from leaving our house and saying goodbye to the babies (Turtle/Puppy), the former did not want us to leave.  It was so sad, all the way through our drive back to Vegas... And yes I did take pictures of street signs. lol. Anything and Everything about LA is important to me! 
Saying our goodbyes =(


On the road!

Izzie!!

Los Angeles!!!

  
The best food place ever!!



Starbucks Selfies!


Venice Beach.. Pictures from scattering Aunt Eileens ashes. RIP.. 





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Lunch at Wood Cafe with the Fam Bam!
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Our waiter was pretty cute!






Lunch was sooo yummy!

Me & Uncle Bob (his first selfie!) 

Me & my Mommy!



Me & Ruthie! love her!


my moms school as a kid

My moms childhood home!

Me and my cousin Toby!

Me & my Uncle Carl


Me and my BFFL Jage!

My Childhood Home

My Grandparents graves. RIP. I miss you both sooo much!





Yummy Brunch at Cocos!


On the Way back to Vegas!







Vegas Lights! We're home!

Turtle was sooo happy to see his Mum Mum.. 

I hope everyone made it through the whole blog post, I know it was kind of long! Thanks for reading peeps! I hope everyone had a great weekend!! 

Peace & Love
Molly