I've Never Had An MRI

I guess I should back up and tell the whole story.  You see, about over a month ago all of a sudden I was struck with terrible lower back pain.  Pain that I have never experienced before. No matter what I did I could not get any relief from the pain.  Ice, heating pad, icy hot, etc.  I went to the emergency room and they did a ct scan.  It came back normal as far as the back was concerned, but weeks later I went to the Neurologist to follow up on the back pain because it seemed like it was inflaming a nerve. For obvious reasons he had gotten a hold of my CT results from the hospital and he gives me news I was not ready to hear.  That I had a 3.5 by 2.9 centimeter mass on my left ovary. First of all I was beyond upset because I had a tumor, but filled with anger and rage because the hospital failed to tell me or even include that in my paperwork.  They specifically told me I was fine.

I made an appointment immediately to see my OBGYN. Of course it was the holiday season so there was a lack of appointments available, so I was only able to get in right after New Years.  Well now after multiple inconclusive ultrasounds, I am a hard one to get a good picture.. unfortunately; I now have to have my very first MRI. Now I know its not like an invasive test or anything.  But for the first time in a long time it is a medical test that I have never had.  It is so sad, but at this point I am like an old pro at CT Scans, Ultrasounds, and X-rays.  Just from hearing about an MRI freaks me out.  I mean any test that's a big circle thing that makes loud banging noises.. sounds super scary! I am very nervous.  I don't know how well I am going to sleep tonight.  

On top of that I am sick.  The whole household is sick. Everyone is miserable and I feel so bad.  The baby is possibly teething so he is miserable and him crying just makes me want to cry.  But I digress....

So up until this point I have been kind of secretive about the type of tumor/cyst/mass whatever you wanna classify it, that I have.  It is honestly for everyone elses benefit. Seriously its kind of gross, and I hate that I most likely do have this in my body, but like I said will know for sure after the MRI tomorrow.  What I most likely have is what they Call a "Dermoid" yah sounds cool right? yeah no.. btw now that you know what it is. do yourselves a favor and do not google image a photo. I wish I hadn't because verbal description is more than enough.  Why you ask? Beacause this type of mass gross hair, skin, teeth, bones, etc. They call it "the ugly twin tumor" lovely right? EWWWW!! Ugh its gross. Just knowing its in my body makes me feel icky and I just want it out of me as soon as humanly possible.  Which is why its been so tough for me lately because all the tests have been so hard to read, and they just don't want to go in and not know what they are really looking for.  I dont feel like I am being impatient, I just feel want to get the surgery over with and move on with my life again.  And lemme just reiterate that you should NOT google image it.  I regret doing so.

I am also hoping it is what has caused my other medical mysteries that have sprouted up over the past few months, like my elevated white blood cell count, anemia, & Fibromyalgia. 

I am just over all this medical stuff.. I just want to live my life and I feel like I am stuck inside of a body that just wants to be sick all the time.  

I am trying to stay positive through this whole thing, but on top on everything else going on in my life it makes it very, very hard.  I am trying to have faith, and keep the positive vibes and leaning on my friends and family for strength and support.  Through everything I have been through in my 25 years of life, and especially in the last few, I dont know how I would have gotten through it without any of them by my side.  It has meant so much to me.  

I am once again calling upon my loved ones to keep me in their thoughts and prayers, and my readers, I hope you do the same for me if you could.  I could really use all the support and positive vibes I can get.

And of course wish me luck on my MRI tomorrow.. Im anxious about it.... ugh

Here is a a funny MRI e-card just for funzies.. 

Peace & Love

Molly